French's Mustard

Date: Tue Oct 1, 2002 4:11 pm


Hello Mr. French, my name is Chainsaw Riggins with the Chainsaw Riggins of Condiment Related Art and Culture and I would like to send one of my students to audition as your new mustard artist. She is 26 years old and has expressed an interest in mustard art since she was 4. She has
been offered many mustard art scholarships and is planning on starting school in Berkeley this spring where she will be under Professor Emeritus Ignatius J. Wilmington.

She has repeatedly tried to contact your company and to tell you the truth, she is becoming quite discouraged with your behavior. Is it the policy of French's Mustard Corporation to destroy the hopes and dreams of little American girls who have no other option but to join the Taliban?

I sincerely hope not sir.

Chainsaw Riggins, MPCRH


The Response...



From: "Relations, Consumer"
Subject: RE: audition/A202641100
Date: Thu, 24 Oct 2002 10:04:55 -0700

Thank you for contacting us.

Reckitt Benckiser employs the services of a professional agency to seek talent for our advertising messages. Unfortunately, at this time, we're not exploring submissions from our consumers.

We appreciate your thoughtfulness, and your interest in our company.


[Name Redacted]
Consumer Relations Department
Reckitt Benckiser Inc.
P.O. Box 945
Wayne, NJ 07474-0945
Phone: 1-800-228-4722